Wedding Crashers: Deal With Them or Party With Them?

wedding-crashersThe guest list, the table charts, and the RSVP check list – all of these play an important role in securing that all of the wedding plans go smoothly during the day itself. The seats, the meal, and even the giveaways all depend greatly on the precise and accurate number of guests expected. If so, what happens when there are a few people who come to the party uninvited?

Brides and wedding planners all dread wedding crashers, people who intentionally go to a wedding party without an invite from the bride and groom. It could be the bride’s ex-boyfriend or the groom’s cousin’s ex-husband, wedding crashers are simply a handful to deal with during the wedding reception. However, most wedding crashers are strangers – those whom no one knows and who only came for the food and the gifts.

How to avoid wedding crashers? While most receptions take place in a public location, like hotels, it is easy for anybody to sneak in without looking suspicious or estranged. Most brides assign key people to man the doors, be it in the church or in the reception venue. The parents of both bride and groom can guard the doors, and the gift table as well if you want to be really safe, if the planner is too busy to do so. For the bride, remind all guests to bring their invites with them during the wedding day itself to make for easy recognition. Also, inquire ahead of time as to what other events might take place at the next function hall or at the nearby venues around the hotel. It would be reasonable to ask guests to show their wedding invites at the door if there is another wedding at the same building, right?

Now they still crash, what to do? The bride should share this problem with the bridesmaids and the wedding planner for everyone to be briefed about the expected problem. Assign a close friend or relative to keep an eye out for any mysterious-looking guests over at the gift table or lingering around the buffet table. Once spotted, first verify the person’s identity with the couple and their families – it could possibly be a long distance relative or a childhood neighbor who arrived late. If no one else could recognize the wedding crasher, time to pounce to action.

The question is, to shoo or not to shoo? The couple can calmly approach the stranger and politely ask his name and why is he here. If they came in a group, ask them for identification right away, even quiz them as to the couple’s own names. Then, try to know what made them crash the wedding. Is it food? The drinks? The gifts? Or simply the party itself? It is completely up to the couple whether they let the crashers leave or stay.

If you decide to make the wedding crasher leave, do it in a calm and firm manner. They usually leave once you ask them to so do so without making a scene. If the person insists that Uncle Bob knows him or that he is a legit guest who just forgot his invite, discreetly ask for assistance and have hotel staff (or even the groomsmen) escort him out of the venue. Wedding crashers who come in groups might be too much to handle so it is better for the party and the couple’s budget to have them leave as well.

If you decide to make the wedding crasher stay, then you are one cool cat. Get to know the new guest very well and make him feel welcomed. Still, keep an eye out for the other guests’ own safety – he is still a stranger and leaving valuables lying around the venue could lead to an unfortunate loss for the other wedding guests.

No matter how prepared a bride may be, wedding crashers are a common problem in big weddings set in public locations. So don’t sweat out on the small details, remember that the day is still about you, your beloved partner, and your great new life together.

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